Chapter 4
Dad didn’t yell.
I expected him to.
Instead, he closed the door.
Amanda shouted from outside.
“Ryan!”
Dad locked it.
Then he turned to us.
Lily was crying.
“You said I’m your daughter.”
Dad crouched in front of her.
“You are.”
“She said you’ll never see me again.”
“I heard her.”
“Can she do that?”
Dad paused.
That scared me.
Adults usually answered quickly when the answer was good.
“I don’t know.”
Lily began crying harder.
Dad hugged her.
“But I promise you something. I am going to do everything I can.”
A knock sounded again.
The attorney spoke through the door.
“Mr. Cole, refusing access may complicate matters.”
Dad stood.
He called someone.
His own lawyer, I guessed.
They spoke quietly.
Then Dad opened the door.
Amanda entered with her attorney.
She barely looked at me.
When she saw Lily, her face softened.
“Baby.”
Lily stepped behind Dad.
Amanda stopped.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
Lily said nothing.
“I’m your mommy.”
Still nothing.
Amanda looked at Dad.
“What did you tell her?”
“Nothing she didn’t already know.”
“You’re enjoying this.”
Dad stared at her.
“Do I look like I’m enjoying this?”
Amanda’s attorney touched her arm.
“Get what you came for.”
Amanda went upstairs.
Her attorney followed.
Dad stayed with us.
For the next forty minutes, we heard drawers opening and closet doors closing.
Then Amanda came down carrying suitcases.
She looked around the living room.
Her eyes stopped on our wedding photograph.
Dad and Amanda.
Me and Lily standing beside them.
Everyone smiling.
Amanda walked toward it.
Dad spoke.
“Leave it.”
She turned.
“Why?”
“Because Lily may want it someday.”
Amanda laughed bitterly.
“You think she’s staying here?”
Dad’s jaw tightened.
“I think she has a voice.”
“She is six.”
“She is still a person.”
Amanda looked at Lily.
“Go pack your clothes.”
Lily shook her head.
“You are coming with me.”
“No.”
“I am not asking.”
Lily grabbed my hand.
Amanda walked toward us.
Dad stepped between them.
Her attorney immediately spoke.
“Mr. Cole, do not interfere physically.”
Dad kept his hands at his sides.
“I’m not.”
Amanda glared at him.
“You are not her legal father.”
The words hit him hard.
I saw it.
He had been raising Lily for almost four years.
She called him Daddy.
He paid for school.
Doctor visits.
Dance classes.
Everything.
But Amanda had always delayed the adoption.
There was always a reason.
Paperwork.
Money.
Timing.
Lily’s biological father had vanished before she turned two.
At least that was what Amanda told us.
Dad said quietly, “Lily does not want to leave.”
Amanda looked at her daughter.
“You don’t know what you want.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Lily.”
“I want Daddy and Ethan.”
Amanda’s face turned red.
“I am your mother.”
“And Ethan is my brother.”
“He is not.”
Lily screamed.
“Yes, he is!”
Amanda’s attorney stepped back.
I think even she was uncomfortable.
Amanda pointed upstairs.
“Pack.”
“No!”
“You are embarrassing me.”
Lily stared at her.
Then she said something none of us expected.
“You embarrass me.”
Amanda froze.
Lily’s whole body shook.
“You’re mean when Daddy leaves.”
“Stop.”
“You tell me not to share.”
“Stop it.”
“You tell Ethan nobody wants him.”
“Lily!”
“You ripped his mommy picture!”
Amanda slapped her hand against the wall.
“Enough!”
Lily jumped.
Dad moved forward.
Amanda realized what she had done.
She stepped back.
Her attorney whispered, “We should go.”
“I am not leaving without my daughter.”
Her attorney’s face tightened.
“This is not the place to force a distressed child into a vehicle.”
“She belongs with me.”
“She is visibly afraid.”
Amanda stared at her own attorney.
“You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am advising you.”
Amanda looked around as if everyone had betrayed her.
Then she pointed at Dad.
“This is what he does. He makes everyone think he’s perfect.”
Dad shook his head.
“I’m not perfect.”
“He works all the time.”
Dad didn’t deny it.
“He misses dinners.”
True.
“He missed Lily’s school play.”
True.
“He leaves me with everything and then comes home acting like a hero.”
Dad looked ashamed.
Some of what she said was true.
That was what made everything confusing.
Amanda had done a lot.
She had taken us to school.
Bought groceries.
Cleaned.
Handled appointments when Dad was traveling.
But none of that erased what she did to me.
Dad said quietly, “You should have told me you were overwhelmed.”
“I did!”
“You told me you wanted a bigger kitchen.”
“I told you I needed help!”
“And I offered to hire someone.”
“I didn’t want a stranger!”
“Then what did you want?”
Amanda’s face twisted.
“I wanted you to see me.”
Dad became quiet.
For a moment, I saw something different between them.
Not anger.
Pain.
Then Amanda looked at me.
“And every time you came home, all you saw was him.”
Dad’s expression changed.
There it was.
The truth.
Maybe not all of it.
But enough.
I whispered, “I didn’t do anything.”
Amanda looked at me.
“You didn’t have to.”
Dad stepped in front of me.
“No.”
Amanda’s eyes filled.
“You talk about Sarah like she was a saint.”
Dad inhaled sharply.
“Do not bring her into this.”
“She is always in this house!”
“She was Ethan’s mother.”
“She was your wife!”
“She died.”
“And somehow I still had to compete with her!”
Dad stared at Amanda as if he finally understood something.
“This was about Sarah?”
Amanda wiped her face.
“No.”
“Yes, it was.”
“No. It was about feeling like a guest in my own family.”
“So you punished her child.”
“I didn’t punish him!”
“Then what do you call it?”
Amanda had no answer.
Lily stepped beside me.
Dad looked exhausted.
Amanda’s attorney spoke.
“My client should leave.”
Amanda turned toward her.
“I’m not leaving Lily.”
The attorney lowered her voice.
“If you attempt to physically remove her while police documentation from yesterday describes her as fearful, you may create a much larger problem.”
Amanda stared at Lily.
Then she grabbed her suitcase.
“This isn’t over.”
She walked out.
Her attorney followed.
The front door closed.
Lily started sobbing.
Dad picked her up.
She wrapped her legs around him like she was afraid someone would drag her away.
“I don’t want to go.”
“I know.”
“Don’t let her take me.”
Dad closed his eyes.
“I’ll try.”
“No. Promise.”
He looked at me.
Then at her.
“I promise I will fight for you.”
That afternoon, Dad met with an attorney.
Mrs. Parker stayed with us.
I thought things might finally become quiet.
I was wrong.
At four o’clock, someone knocked.
Mrs. Parker checked the window.
A man stood outside.
He was tall.
Dark hair.
A scar near his chin.
He held an envelope.
Mrs. Parker opened the door only a few inches.
“Can I help you?”
The man looked nervous.
“I’m looking for Amanda Cole.”
“She doesn’t live here right now.”
He nodded.
Then his eyes moved past Mrs. Parker.
Toward Lily.
His whole face changed.
Lily stared back.
The man whispered, “Oh my God.”
Mrs. Parker moved in front of her.
“Who are you?”
He swallowed.
“My name is Daniel Reed.”
Lily looked confused.
I wasn’t.
I had heard that name once.
Years ago.
Dad had mentioned it when he thought Lily was asleep.
Daniel Reed.
Lily’s biological father.
The man Amanda said had disappeared and never wanted his daughter.
Daniel looked at Lily.
May you like
His eyes filled with tears.
“I’ve been trying to find her for three years.”
