Chapter 3
Dad arrived just after midnight.
I didn’t see his car pull into the driveway.
I heard the front door.
By then, Lily and I were sitting on the couch at Mrs. Parker’s house.
The police had told Amanda it would be better if everyone stayed apart for the evening.
Amanda had gone to her sister Vanessa’s apartment.
She wanted to take Lily.
Lily refused.
There had been another argument.
Eventually, Amanda left alone after Dad gave permission over the phone for Lily to stay with Mrs. Parker until he got home.
I was asleep against Lily’s shoulder when the door opened.
“Ethan.”
I woke instantly.
Dad stood there with his suitcase still in one hand.
His tie was loose.
His hair was messy.
He looked exhausted.
I had never been happier to see anyone.
I ran.
Dad dropped the suitcase.
He fell to his knees and caught me.
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
He just held me.
Then Lily ran over too.
Dad pulled her into the hug.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I didn’t understand.
“For what?”
He leaned back.
His eyes were red.
“For not seeing it.”
I stared at him.
“You were working.”
“That doesn’t excuse it.”
“You didn’t know.”
“I should have.”
Lily touched his face.
“Mom tricked you.”
Dad closed his eyes.
That hurt him.
I could tell.
Because he loved Amanda.
Or at least he had.
Mrs. Parker made coffee while Dad sat with us.
He asked us questions.
Not many.
He didn’t push.
He didn’t ask why I hadn’t told him sooner.
I was grateful for that.
I didn’t know how to explain why.
When you’re seven, grown-ups seem like they control the world.
If one grown-up tells you nobody will believe you, part of you believes them.
Amanda had never hit me.
That made everything harder to explain.
She just made me feel like I was taking up space that belonged to someone else.
Dad listened.
Lily talked more than I did.
“She doesn’t let Ethan sit in the front when we go places.”
“That’s because children shouldn’t sit in the front,” Dad said gently.
“No. I mean when Grandma drives and we take turns. Mom says Ethan never gets a turn.”
Dad nodded.
“What else?”
“She threw away his picture.”
My head snapped toward her.
Dad frowned.
“What picture?”
Lily looked at me.
“The one of his mommy.”
My throat closed.
Dad stared at me.
“What is she talking about?”
I looked down.
I hadn’t meant for him to find out.
I had kept the empty frame under my bed.
“Amanda said it was an accident.”
“When?”
“Three months ago.”
Dad stood.
Then sat again.
Like he didn’t know what to do with his anger.
“What happened?”
I rubbed my hands together.
“She was cleaning my room. The picture was on my desk. She said it fell.”
Dad’s jaw tightened.
“The frame broke?”
I shook my head.
“The picture ripped.”
His face changed.
“How does a photograph rip when a frame falls?”
I said nothing.
Lily answered.
“Mom ripped it.”
Dad looked at her.
“You saw her?”
Lily nodded.
“She took it out first.”
Dad leaned forward, elbows on his knees.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lily’s bottom lip trembled.
“Mom said if I told you, you would stop loving her and it would be my fault.”
Dad covered his face.
Mrs. Parker put a hand on his shoulder.
He stayed that way for several seconds.
Then his phone rang.
AMANDA.
He looked at us.
“I’m going to take this in the kitchen.”
I grabbed his sleeve.
“Don’t leave.”
He immediately sat back down.
“I won’t.”
He answered on speaker.
“Amanda.”
Her voice came fast.
“Ryan, thank God. I’ve been calling you for an hour.”
“I was with the children.”
“Our children.”
Dad’s eyes closed briefly.
“Yes.”
“I need to come home.”
“No.”
Silence.
“What do you mean, no?”
“I mean not tonight.”
“That is my home too.”
“We need space.”
“You mean you need space from me.”
“I need the kids to feel safe.”
“They are safe with me!”
Lily pressed herself closer to Dad.
Amanda heard movement.
“Is Lily there?”
Dad looked at her.
“Yes.”
“Put her on.”
Lily shook her head.
Dad said, “She doesn’t want to talk right now.”
“I am her mother.”
“I know.”
“You have no right to keep her from me.”
“I’m not keeping her from you. I’m telling you she doesn’t want to talk right now.”
Amanda’s voice sharpened.
“Because you and Ethan have spent hours filling her head with lies.”
I whispered, “We didn’t.”
Amanda heard me.
“There he is.”
Dad’s expression hardened.
“Amanda.”
“He is always in the middle of everything.”
“Stop talking about my son like he’s an enemy.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Amanda inhaled.
Then her voice became soft.
“Ryan, please.”
Dad looked toward the floor.
“We had a good life.”
He didn’t answer.
“We can fix this.”
Still nothing.
“I was stressed.”
Dad finally spoke.
“Stress does not make you starve a seven-year-old.”
“I did not starve him.”
“You put a lock on food.”
“For three days!”
I looked at Dad.
His eyes lifted.
Amanda realized what she had admitted.
“That came out wrong.”
Dad’s voice turned cold.
“How long?”
“No, Ryan—”
“How long has this been happening?”
“It hasn’t.”
“How long?”
“I told you, he has always been difficult with me.”
I flinched.
Dad noticed.
“Amanda, he is seven.”
“And I am human!”
“You’re an adult.”
“I gave up everything for this family!”
“What did you give up?”
“My apartment. My job. My independence.”
“You chose to move in. You chose to stop working after we got married.”
“Because you said I could!”
“Yes. And I never said you could punish my son for existing.”
Amanda started crying.
“You’re choosing him over me.”
Dad stared at the phone.
“He’s my child.”
“So is Lily!”
“Yes.”
“She isn’t biologically yours.”
Lily went still.
Dad looked at her.
Amanda continued.
“You act like Ethan is the only person who matters because he carries your blood.”
“That is not what this is about.”
“Yes, it is.”
Lily crawled away from Dad.
He reached for her.
“Sweetheart.”
She looked at him.
“Am I not yours?”
The room went silent.
Dad’s face crumpled.
He pulled Lily back into his arms.
“You are mine in every way that matters.”
“But Mom said—”
“I don’t care what she said.”
“I don’t have your blood.”
Dad held her face between his hands.
“Listen to me. I have packed your lunches. I have taken you to dance class. I have sat beside you when you were sick. I taught you how to ride your bike. I have read you the same terrible dinosaur book thirty times.”
Lily sniffed.
“Thirty-seven.”
Dad almost smiled.
“Thirty-seven.”
She hugged him.
“You are my daughter.”
Amanda was silent.
Then she whispered, “Ryan.”
Dad looked at the phone.
“You just used your own daughter’s deepest fear to hurt me.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“You meant exactly what you said.”
He ended the call.
Nobody spoke.
Then Dad looked at me.
“Where’s the picture frame?”
I showed him when we returned home the next morning.
The house smelled faintly of smoke.
The kitchen had been cleaned by the fire department enough to be safe.
Dad walked through every room like he had never seen the place before.
I took him to my bedroom.
Under my bed was the blue frame.
Empty.
Dad picked it up.
“Do you know where the photograph is?”
I shook my head.
“She threw it away.”
Dad sat on my bed.
“That was the only copy you had.”
I nodded.
He looked devastated.
Then he stood suddenly.
“I have another one.”
“What?”
He went to his office.
He opened the bottom drawer of his desk.
Inside was a box I had never seen.
He brought it to the kitchen table.
It was filled with photos.
Mom holding me as a baby.
Mom asleep with me on her chest.
Mom and Dad at the beach.
Mom laughing while Dad tried to cook pancakes.
There were dozens.
I stared at them.
“Why didn’t you show me?”
Dad’s eyes filled with tears.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Of what?”
“That looking at them would hurt you.”
I touched one.
“It does.”
Dad looked down.
“But I still want them.”
He nodded.
“So do I.”
Lily climbed onto the chair beside me.
“Was she nice?”
I looked at Dad.
He smiled through tears.
“She was stubborn.”
“Like Ethan?”
“Exactly like Ethan.”
I smiled.
It was the first time I had smiled in two days.
Then the doorbell rang.
Dad stiffened.
He checked the camera on his phone.
Amanda stood outside.
But she wasn’t alone.
A woman in a gray suit stood beside her.
Dad opened the door without removing the chain.
“Amanda.”
She looked tired.
Her eyes were swollen.
“This is my attorney.”
Dad stared at her.
“Already?”
“You gave me no choice.”
Her attorney stepped forward.
“Mr. Cole, my client is here to retrieve personal belongings and her daughter.”
Lily grabbed my arm.
Dad glanced back at us.
May you like
Then Amanda said something that made my stomach drop.
“And if you try to stop me from taking Lily, I’ll make sure you never see her again.”
