Chapter 5: The Marriage We Lost Before We Lost Each Other
The next morning, I woke up in the hospital waiting room.
I didn’t remember falling asleep.
At some point, exhaustion must have defeated me.
My neck hurt.
My clothes were wrinkled.
But none of that mattered.
Because when I opened my eyes, the first thought I had was Sophie.
Not my apartment.
Not work.
Not the life I had built after the divorce.
Her.
I walked back toward her room.
The door was open.
Sophie was sitting by the window, drinking coffee.
For a moment, I saw the woman I married.
Not the patient.
Not the person fighting a disease.
Just Sophie.
My Sophie.
Then she noticed me.
“You stayed.””
It wasn’t a question.
I nodded.
“I told you I would.””
She looked down.
“You used to say things like that.””
The comment hurt.
Because I knew what she meant.
Promises had become easy for me.
Keeping them had become harder.
“I know.””
She sighed.
“I don’t want to punish you forever, Ethan.””
“I don’t think you are.””
“Then why do you look like you’re waiting for me to?””
Because maybe I was.
Maybe I expected anger.
Maybe I expected her to make me suffer because I deserved it.
But Sophie had never been that person.
“I don’t know how to forgive myself.””
Her expression changed.
“For what?””
“For leaving.””
She was quiet.
Then she said something I didn’t expect.
“You weren’t the only one who left.””
I looked at her.
“What do you mean?””
She looked toward the window.
“I stopped letting you in.””
I didn’t answer.
Because that was true.
After the miscarriages, Sophie had changed.
But I had only seen the distance.
I never asked what was behind it.
“I thought if I showed you how scared I was, you would feel trapped.””
“You thought loving you would become a responsibility.””
She nodded.
“And I hated that.””
Her voice cracked.
“Because I wanted you to choose me.””
I sat beside her.
“I should have.””
“Yes.””
The answer was immediate.
And somehow, I appreciated it.
She wasn’t pretending.
She wasn’t making excuses.
“I should have chosen you too,” she whispered.
I looked at her.
“What?””
“I should have told you everything.””
A sad smile appeared.
“We both spent so much time protecting each other that we destroyed ourselves.””
That sentence stayed with me.
Because maybe that was the real tragedy.
We weren’t enemies.
We weren’t people who stopped caring.
We were two broken people trying to shield each other from pain.
And somehow, we created more pain.
“I want to know everything,” I said.
Sophie looked nervous.
“Everything?””
“Yes.””
She took a deep breath.
“Even the things that hurt?””
“Especially those.””
She nodded slowly.
“After the divorce, I almost called you every day.””
My chest tightened.
“Why didn’t you?””
“Because I remembered what you said.””
“What did I say?””
She looked at me.
“You said we needed to learn how to live without each other.””
I looked away.
I hated hearing my own words.
“I thought calling you would be selfish.””
“Sophie…”
“I thought if you were happier without me, I had no right to interrupt that.””
I closed my eyes.
Happier.
That was the assumption everyone made.
That leaving meant happiness.
But my apartment had never felt like home.
It had only felt quiet.
“I wasn’t happier.””
She looked at me.
“I know.””
“You knew?””
She nodded.
“You think I didn’t notice you stopped smiling in your pictures?””
I almost laughed.
“You saw my pictures?””
“Of course I did.””
The honesty surprised me.
Even after everything.
She still cared.
The door opened.
Daniel stepped inside.
“I’m sorry to interrupt.””
Sophie immediately looked serious.
“Did you find something?””
Daniel nodded.
“Yes.””
He looked at me.
“I think Ethan should hear this too.””
Sophie became tense.
“Why?””
“Because it affects both of you.””
My heart dropped.
“What does?””
Daniel placed a folder down.
“The pregnancy complications.””
I stared at him.
“What about them?””
He took a breath.
“The miscarriage wasn’t caused by chance.””
Sophie closed her eyes.
“I knew this was coming.””
I looked at her.
“What does that mean?””
Daniel answered.
“It means there may be a genetic connection.””
Silence.
“A connection between what?””
Daniel looked at Sophie.
Then at me.
“The condition Sophie has may have been passed down.””
I felt cold.
“Passed down to who?””
Nobody answered.
I already knew.
But I needed to hear it.
“Sophie.””
May you like
Her eyes filled with tears.
“There’s something else I didn’t tell you.””
